sounds fascinating

    lately I deal with souls even more troubled than mine and caring often taxes me completely

    but always I regain composure once I've taken my heart's needs into consideration...

     yet I am glad not many people look like me

     Taverns beside rivers?

     now that sounds civilised!!!

Need and suffering of one sort or another in varying degrees motivates us to attend support groups in hope of relief. It may also motivate us to take desperate measures when when hope drops below the threshhold of belief.

The blessings of and survival of need and suffering as well as gratitude and hope may also foster in us sufficient compassion to identify and even empowerment to feel that we can make a positive difference for others. I really admire you and your co-workers who get up each day to share the trenches of struggle with those in whose lives you make a difference, and who when the occasion demands, share in suffering the despair from which you must rebound as a survivor. 

A sense of responsibility that inspires commitment in a caretaker can be turned inside out by the suicide or other demise of or detriment to someone in one's care. The remarkable thing about caretaking people, as is true to some degree for all who love, is that knowing in advance that there are risks of loss involved, they find within themselves the strength and courage to commit. Even so, advance awareness does not lessen pain when loss occurs.

Fortunately human beings have an ability to compartmentalize beyond reason. Even those who deny the existence of God when they assess humanity's stupidity in using the idea of God as a divisive and enslaving element in life, can turn to God in hope and even in anger at times when loss of someone in one's care generates guilt and grief. Turning to God may provide hope or at least some sort of release in reminding us that if there is a God, we are not that God, but at best only one of his angels or agents trying our best to make the world all right. Whether it be God or Life or a sense of a common bond in our humanity, it helps to keep alive a sense that there is something that matters greater than ourselves alone.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, with your co-workers, and with one 70-lb. dog in particular. Life can weigh in quite heavily at times of sadness. Here's to Hope.

 this reminds me of a feeling I had when I read about a singer who's Ma died giving birth to him!!!

 I wondered if or how much this child was burdened by death's impact...

 as well, I had fleeting thoughts about a dearly loved one dying as they gave birth...

 which thankfully was not so and proof that even the faintest prayers of sincerity are resolutely answered.

 Human life is precious and suicide must be a desperate measure of expressing just this much!!!!

"As Good as it Gets" is one of my favorites although time fades memory and emotional impact. Nice part about getting older is that the second time around everything old is new again.

Recently I have had at my house an Anton Yelchin DVD film festival with--"Charlie Bartlett," "House of D," and "Hearts in Atlantis." In all three he plays bright, sensitive sons of neurotic, self-centered moms. Even so, that's better than "Alpha Dogs" in which he plays a kidnap and murder victim.

Having emigrated from Russia to the U.S. at a young age, Yelchin has a self-discipline, artistic integrity, and intensity that allows him to seemlessly integrate his performances with those of Robert Downey Jr., Robin Williams, Anthony Hopkins, Hope Davis, and Tea Leone. Could he counterweight a Jack Nicholson performance? You betcha!

I hope your situation turns out well.

I worked very hard on delicacy in phrasing that sentence above. It's much improved from "I hope he didn't stick in his thumb and pull out a plum." However, not being known for my delicacy, I couldn't resist filling you in (pardon the expression) on what you would have missed.

Regarding your note:  "Yo dude stop with all the free sound advice.  You are going to be putting therapists out of biz.  We have to eat too you know."

Have no fear. Based on how much money I've invested in therapy in my younger days, the balance sheet still favors your profession. Before sleep apnea was diagnosed and  the CPAP was offered as a solution, I was just thought to be depressed.

[NightListener]

We got off to a bad start.  Me sitting waiting in my underwear to meet the doctor for the first time, with a "gown" on. 

I got over it. He has some redeeming features.  He is only mildly condesending, giving valuable advice like stop eating at the first sign of fullness.  ( If I had those reasonable first signs, I wouldn't be overweight.)

This guy at least listens.  He is younger than I am which is good. He asked me if I wanted a rectal exam.  I said of course that is why I came. He actually found something.

Yes, untie the ribbons so that you can use them to strap the leg bone to the hip bone.

A couple of weeks after my knee surgery I attended a potluck dinner at some friends' home. Dinner was served buffet style. The hostess suggested that the walking wounded (that's not exactly how she put it) go first. "Steve," she said, "why don't you start because you've had surgery most recently."

But then as she started to direct traffic it became apparent that  one friend had his shoulder replaced a week before my surgery. My wife's knee replacement was in December. Another friend had fallen and was sore. The host had had 2 knee replacements at the same time last summer. Another fellow had had a heart attack last year. Another woman had been hospitalized with high blood pressure. Ninety-five percent of us were invalids of one sort or another.

Personally I blame it on the buffet--one of many such meals our group of friends has shared together in the past year--steaks, twice baked potatoes, and other rich choices. How many of us will have to keel over before we get smart and start improving peer standards at the dining table. It probably won't happen until the guy who makes the twice-baked potatoes is gone. Those really were GOOD!

I just spent 45 minutes with an entry and lost it.  I am pissed and not willing to reinvest the time.  Why do i do this.  ---- got distracted.

Too long an entry.  Perhaps I should make a self management rule for myself.  If I am spending more than 30 minutes making an entry I should save and edit it. 

Well I am pissed but must move on.

Thanks for your note in my diary. Actually I'm not being modest or putting myself down to say that next to what is done for others by you and by my wife, my contribution in this instance was minimal. It was my wife who spent hours in the grocery, in the department stores, at college counselors and in line for registration on D's behalf. It was my wife who negotiated the lease with the landlord and worked with hiring managers to find jobs. It was my wife who really became part of this particular community and who got to know a number of participants well. It was neither my wife nor I who took these young men out to teach them to drive. It was another generous soul. I did a few good things, but my efforts were minimal.

That I get to share in the story is more of a gift than something I've earned based on the monumental effort required that was put in by a number of the volunteer mentors. One woman actually went to Kenya as part of a church mission to meet with the mother of another young man after someone claiming to be his mother called him to ask for money. When the mentor met this woman, she had no doubt this woman was the young man's mother. They looked so much alike.

As it has been said, it takes a village.

Hi Peace Good for you, you've found a system that works, that leaves uncle bushmonkey out of it 

*hugs*

Lily

I hate file folders and just keep shuffling them. My wife's system for filing financial records helps a lot. She's created a 3-ring titled insertable binder for each major category--Utilities, Credit Cards, Repairs and Services, etc. with plastic sheet protector inside, also with insertible labels for each account, vendor, institution, contractor, etc. Every time we mark a bill paid, we put the most recent on top of the stack in the sheet protector so that we can read the most current information without having to remove it.

It's also easy for both of us to file and retrieve information without confusing the other one. When the fence company rep came out yesterday to estimate costs for annual repairs, I just grabbed the plastic pocket and had all the info going on the current fence construction and repairs going back to 1998.

The best part of my wife's system is that she does the taxes. That's probably because back in 1973 when I tried to make a go of it as a freelance artist, I counted brushes as equipment and depreciated every brush, even those costing 25-99 cents, over a ten-year period which resulted in our getting audited.

I walked into the IRS office with a file drawer containing a ledger entry and receipt for every single item. I had trouble understanding that cheap brushes were considered consumable items to be deducted fully in the year of purchase and not equipment just because they might last beyond the year in which they were purchased. Ironically I still have many of those brushes today. Good thing the the regulation didn't state that equipment was to be depreciated over a 35-year period or we'd probably still have to figure those brushes into this year's tax return. Last summer when I was cleaning out the basement, I finally shredded the tax receipts from 1973 through 1999.

Fortunately, as I said, my wife took over taxes long ago.

I still have beer in the refrigerator in the garage from two Easters ago when my brother-in-law was still alive. Hard to imagine that's he'll have been gone from a stroke two years this July. I like a beer on a hot day, but napping has become so easy for me that on a hot day I seldom make it to the beer. Occasionally I'll add a little to cheddar cheese soup, take a sip, and then 2 weeks later throw the rest of the can away. Eww!

Your mother-in-law?

Happy trails to you.

Reading your diary today, had a big impact on me and so did NightListener answer. My dad is nowhere near to go, yet, thanks God, but I don't know if I will have enough strenght to deal with it, when the time comes. I am thinking of you and your mother in law and I will be praying..........

Hi Peace I can relate with you on the "P" word. I am an excellent procrastinator! I'm not proud of it, but its a very hard habit to break. I've succeeded a few times in getting things done ahead of time, but when it comes right down to it, I'll put it off til the last possible moment. Oh well, and so it goes

I'm cheering you on...."Go Peace Go"

*smiles*

Lily

Merry Christmas to you and your family Peace

*hugs*

Lily

I received several elf dance e-card this year. To friend A---- I sent this reply:

Working all night Christmas Eve

fulfilling Santa’s orders

as he takes flight with deer and sleigh

without regard to borders

can be a bit exhausting

for all the busy elves

who long for Christmas morning

to nap on empty shelves.

But now and then when children wake

wond’ring “What did Santa gimme?”

Elf A---- stays up to greet Saint Nick

with a big smile and a shimmy.

[NightListener]

yuck on city life. Crime and cement cannot compare to wildlife and moss and earthy smells.

I have to admit to missing the culture and food of city life.

What about a stairlift chair? Is it feasible with regard to stairway structure and financing through fundraising?

If you have a basic straight staircase, expect to pay between $2,800 to $4,000. Stair lifts can cost up to $15,000, depending on your market or stair case configuration. The cost quoted usually includes installation. In some municipalities, permits and/or site inspections are needed which will affect the cost you pay for a stair lift. Some companies offer attractive rental or pre-owned programs that make stair lifts more affordable.  http://www.stairliftsusa.com/stairLiftCost.asp 

Or perhaps your landlord has a small downstairs space that would be accessible, workable, affordable, and safe for your older (than you) employee.

Way to go Peace

*hugs*

Lily

Okay... give me an update...Peace... M

 I know it's been ages but I wanted to express how inspiring it is to read this!

Hi Peace I'm sooooooooo happy for you my friend!! Enjoy Enjoy Enjoy!!!!

I'm smiling a big smile  See?

*hugs*

Lily

If I were stuck in a local psych unit, I'd be impatient too. Oh, I just reread what you wrote...never mind.

Hi Peace Stopping in to wish you a Happy Easter...in other words have a great weekend

*hugs*

Lily

Hello, My name is PURESHEILD.

I found my way here thru keyword: Positive.

You are the only one on that list who is up to date.

I see what you mean.

Its better to be honest than hide it within.

The longer you hide it the worse it will get.

I am honest in my Diary.

What happened to the other Diarist, Have they quit ?

I wrote an Entry called " The Tale of the Ancient Diarist List "

Its amazing their Diaries still exist.

Some of theirs say N/A on their Title.

-PURESHEILD- Just stopped by, Hope you don't mind.

well you damn-sure know I ain't with any Government that tortures or oppresses its

 people. I will take this email address. I live my life in a manner which I believe is

 simple and modest and in being so is a testament to Peace. (and human potential)

always have and always will be for the rights of people down to earth or on the street!

good entry!

I'm in agreement too! Come on over I say, just know its cold and snowing here

Interesting entry Peace!

*smiling*

Lily

sounds like a precarious position to be in for all parties concerned and especially you!

 Kudos for taking action where countless others I am certain would dare not venture!

 Thanks very much for the recent comment, I never take an affirmation for granted!

But allow me to correct you on one thing as I am abit of a music fanatic(and musician,

to boot!) the song you mentioned was recorded by Simon and Garfunkal on one of their

early, early  albums. Also, in gratitude, I  posted a few photos, hope you enjoy 'em!

Great Entry!!!

Wow, sounds like a tough situation for all sides. Probably for the best though.. it is hard to walk away, even if you know you should. I am glad you are trying to help out with your nephew, he will look back someday and really appreciate you being there for him, when no one else was

renae

Great that you are on a new streak so fast.. you are doing a wonderful job. You will be buff in no time!

Thats shows how uncommited and backstabing Women really are.

Some Women are Bad and Some Women are Good.

Does that change the way you feel about Women ?

Sounds like a Boy who has been traumatized.

That is horrible.

Why did you leave him with her ?

Someone should get that boy an Attorney and Sue her for Physical and Emotional damage.

-PURESHEILD- - You got my real happy face on!

 hey I read about this before in a previous entry else it feels like I am having one

 of those deja vu memories...I s'pose you have people you deal with on persistent

  case levels...sounds like a pretty intense line of work you are in but

 obviously satsifying(when you can effect another life so positively!) I saw some

 of my Pedicab mates when I was out cycling this eve near Grand Central Station---

 wow! how refreshing! they have such up-beat attitudes even when they ain't

 in the money...I need to learn more from these great spirited people! I was

  feeling down but to have stopped and chatted made such a difference---gotta

 get back to the streets! I am happy to read about how you make a difference too.

 Here's to more successes!

With the garage, if you can't think big, think small. Fill one box or trash bag or reorganize one tool drawer or hang another rack or install a storage unit. One thing will eventually lead to another. Like exercise, the first step is the hardest.

You definitely deserve the Ben Franklin award for your documentation. It's good you are publishing at MDD to archive all your good ideas and to show that consistency, although not easy, over time pays off. Just think of what would have happened if instead of publishing his witticisms in an almanac, Ben Franklin had, instead, baked them into forturne cookies. An hour later they would have been lost to posterity.